We all have one– and when life has piled so much on us we can’t stay upright any longer, something falls out of place and we lose our equilibrium.
Sometimes that “something” is a loved one, a person we believed with all our heart was meant to be with us always and no matter what.
What I’m going to tell you now is, our hearts aren’t always right, much less clear-headed enough to protect us from the kind of damage that person can inflict. When logic is telling you it’s time to part ways, your heart will be yelling otherwise.
But I wouldn’t deserve the rank of Ginger if I didn’t tell you here and now that when you’ve capsized and are treading water, calling out to him or her and trying to stay afloat, you’ve got to be strong enough to swim away and save yourself.
My Grandpa Karl was a ginormous silver-haired man with brilliant blue eyes, and when I was 15, he pulled me aside to give me “the talk” about this kind of situation. The reason you’ve got to pull away and save yourself is, by the time the boat has dumped you in the water, you’re already drowning. You’ve already started losing yourself, bit by bit–one piece here, another one there–and that relationship has bashed a hole in the hull that’s so jagged and deep it’s pulling water in faster than you can spell the work SINK.
Loving people is complicated, but at the very least, in order for it to be worth it, they’ve got to love you back and cherish you just as much as you do them. It doesn’t mean you’ll always be happy with each other but also, it definitely doesn’t mean you should make yourself small to survive in the relationship.
So when you find you must let go and give up the person who means everything to you, just know that there are others waiting. In fact, it may surprise you that they’ve been floating right next to you all along.
You just have to wipe your eyes, take a deep breath, focus ahead, and keep swimming towards the shore line.